Roger Ailes

2012-02-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Roger's Deep Thoughts

Why is Rick Santorum's biggest financial supporter an anthropomorphic ice cream cone with a giant soft serve head?

Update: Link fixed.

2012-02-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

It's A Nice Day To Start Again

Please feel free to leave any proposals in comments.

2012-02-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

Let's Get Ready to Pantload

Jonah Goldberg fantasizes about the combat he somehow managed to avoid during the last twenty years of his life:

This could get very ugly. There are a lot of guys at CPAC who daydream about the Occupy types picking a fight with them.

The 'Load is linking to a super-secret insider report from a Heritage Foundation mole at Occupy/New Black Panther Party Aitch Cue.

Why a lot of guys at CPAC share their self-defense fantasies with Goldberg is nobody's guess.

2012-02-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

"Captain" Ed Morrisey: I Can't Be Bothered to Vote

The Patrick Henry of the Land of 10,000 Lakes has just begun to figh... oh, look, cocktail weenies:

As I wrote earlier, decision time has come to Minnesota, where I live. Unfortunately, I can’t officially participate in that choice, since we have a caucus system rather than a primary — and one cannot cast an absentee vote in a caucus system. I checked twice with my BPOU officials (a BPOU is a “basic political organization unit,” akin to a precinct) and there is no provision for proxy voting. I will be in Washington DC for CPAC and some company meetings when the caucuses take place on Tuesday evening.

....Last time I caucused for Romney; this time, if I had the opportunity, I would caucus for Rick Santorum.

Ed would vote if the Minnesota G.O.P. would just realize that he's the Sheldon Adelson of the Great White North just give him his own damn portable caucus. But the rest of you Republican peeons should vote for Rick Santorum, like Ed would if he's wasn't so fucking special.

Of course, CPAC doesn't kick off its schedule until Thursday, and Ed's such a tech wizard it's impossible to fathom why he can't conduct his business on the intertubes. Rick Santorum's granddad didn't allow his 27 hour workday down in the coal mines keep him from voting.

Just admit you can't be bothered to vote, Ed. No one will think any less of you.

2012-02-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

Grand Old Police Blotter: The New White Panther Party Edition

Silent as the grave is the wingnut bed-wetting contingent upon hearing news that Indiana's Secretary of State, Charlie White, was convicted of voter fraud.

John Fund can't be bothered. Hans von Spankovsky isn't spanking his hans off. Big Chuzzlewit has no scoop. The silence of J. Christian Adams says, "If it's all White, it's all right."

Here's the news, for those who only cruise wingnut sites:

A jury in Hamilton County, just north of Indianapolis, deliberated for 13 hours before convicting Republican Secretary of State Charlie White on six felony charges. Among other things, White was accused of lying about his address on voter registration forms.

Indiana law does not allow felons to hold statewide office, and Daniels quickly appointed White's chief deputy, Jerry Bonnet, as interim secretary of state. But the governor said he was holding off on naming a permanent replacement because a judge could reduce the charge to a misdemeanor, allowing White to regain the office.

The only mention of White's crimes I can find using National Review Online's shitty search engine is the following quote in a link to a 2011 John J. Miller article (which doesn't appear in the linked article): "NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE TO REMEDY THE 2008 VOTER FRAUD. (Except arrest Charlie White for using his ex-wife's address.)"

Vote fraud -- the ultimate IOKIYAR.

2012-02-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

Big Baby

The article "19 Americans in Egypt Face Trial in Inquiry Over Funding" from today's New York Times doesn't state that half of all Americans are anti-choice.

This Ross Douchehat column about contraception and abortion from just one week ago doesn't state that half of all Americans are anti-choice.

Pissing yourself over media bias -- it's just that easy.

2012-02-04T14:43:00.001-08:00

Roger's Super Bowl Prediction

Patriots 21, Giants 17.

2012-02-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

Komen Feel The Noize

Tbogg has the post-game low-down on the Brinker Bow-Down:

Which, some are pointing out, means that they didn’t exactly fold like a lawn chair under Chris Chistie, so much as they punted to buy themselves some time. But the fact remains that by making an unforced error in denying Planned Parenthood funding (in the grand scheme of things, a paltry $680,000) the Komen Foundation exposed themselves as a rats nest of wingnuts, irreparably damaged their brand, lost countless supporters (and therefore millions of dollars), and gave Planned Parenthood an enormous boost at a time when they really needed it. Corporations who have been pink-mailed by the Komen Foundation now have the ability to gracefully withdraw and focus their attentions elsewhere. Other corporations who have been threatened by the forced birthers to withdraw any funding of Planned Parenthood got a glimpse of the type of whirlwind they might reap for making such a move.

Brinker blinked.

I don't trust Komen any farther than I can throw Chris Christie, but it's clear Komen has been put on notice that its future dishonesty won't go unnoticed. Komen might be a good charity "if it had been somebody there to shoot [it] every minute of [its] life." On the other hand, life's too short. Shoot it and move on.

Update: Given the revelation that Komen hired the talking penis to do its dirty work, my advice has changed to shoot it, shoot it several more times and bury it at sea, next to bin Laden.

2012-02-02T15:13:00.000-08:00

J-Rubb On Trump

Before Trump endorsed Mittens, of course:

It’s convenient to have a candidate like Gingrich who attracts the unserious, the unpresidential, the uninformed and the unpalatable all in one convenient locale.

And that locale is a Bush Administration reunion.

2012-02-02T09:22:00.001-08:00

If you have to rely on your lawyer to say a kind word about you, you're probably not very well liked.

2012-02-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

Trump Hump Bumps Chump

Drudgeico and others are breathlessly reporting that Donald Trump is endorsing Mitt Gingrich for President.

We reported, along with the New York Times and the Associated Press among others, last night that Donald Trump is expected to endorse Newt Gingrich, according to sources around his campaign. The Times went first with the news in terms of national outlets.

What a difference 12 hours makes - Trump's endorsement is not likely to go to Gingrich, others said, and may in fact go to Mitt Romney when he makes his announcement at 12:30 p.m.

Matt Drudge, who has a relationship with top Romney officials, this morning - linking to our Gingrich story - was among the first to indicate it would be Romney.

Romney sources told POLITICO late this morning that the candidate will get the backing of The Donald.

The endorsement of Romney would come after serious lobbying from some supporters of the frontrunner, according to several sources.

Santorum, Busey and Loaf sources are also claiming that Trump will endorse their candidacy.

2012-02-01T09:49:00.000-08:00

Noah Snark

At The New Republic, Tim Noah writes:

As for the [Mike] Allen story ["How Fox News Stays On Top"], it's an unalloyed embarrassment -- one of the worst things I can ever recall reading by a first-rate journalist.

Quick: Name one good thing Mike Allen has ever written. Name one Mike Allen piece that isn't a "fanzine-style puffer" of a Republican politician or a Republican agenda item. Next up: Noah names Newt Gingrich a first-rate thinker and Marty Peretz a first-rate professor.

2012-01-31T14:57:00.000-08:00

What's this I hear about Mitt Romney denying elderly Jews on Medicare the blood of Christian babies for their Passover meals?

2012-01-30T15:13:00.000-08:00

The Voters Speak

From the Trump-affiliated website, "Should Trump Run," Donald Trump has everyone talking about the most important issues of the day:

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While the economy is obviously uppermost in voters' minds, the electorate is split on questions of health care.
It's no wonder the EMESSEM is taking the Trump candidacy seriously, and with appropriate deference.

Update (2/2): In recent comments, Trump-backers have voiced a preference for a particular boner pill. Expect an endorsement from Trump any second now.

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2012-01-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

Gingrich-Fail 2012

As Spermin' Cain and Sharia Plain jockey for the job as Newton Leroi's running mate, one has to ask if John McCain is the Lavrentiy Beria of the Romney Commissariat for Internal Affairs (Rom-Com).

2012-01-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

The Telling Detail

Ron Paul's former employee says Paul knew exactly what was in his racist newsleters. The head of the Cato Institute says Paul used the mailing lists of anti-semitic organizations to find subscribers. Paul continues to deny the truth. Here's how you can tell who to believe:

It is unclear precisely how much money Paul made from his newsletters, but during the years he was publishing them, he reduced his debts and substantially increased his net worth, according to his congressional and presidential disclosure reports.

In 1984, he reported debt of up to $765,000, most of which was gone by 1995, when he reported a net worth of up to $3.3 million. Last year, he reported a net worth of up to $5.2 million.

The libertarian philosophy in action: anything that makes you rich is good.

2012-01-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

Breaking: Politico Blows Matt Drudge

Drudgeico and its chief Drudgesuckers, Mike Allen and Jim Vanderheidiho, are brainlessly reporting that Eggs Drudge is linking to anti-Newton pieces. At the Memeorandum link and the Drudgeico homepage, the story is titled "The Right Drops a Bomb on Newt." The actual story is titled "Drudge, conservative media criticize Newt Gingrich," apparently due the substantial differences between whiny bitching and dropping a bomb.

So who are the conservative worthies bashing Newton? Criminals Tom Delay and Elliot Abrams (who undoubtedly would drop a bomb on Newton if he could), circus freaks R. Emmett Tyrell and Ann Coulter, and a "top conservative media figure" who "spoke on condition of anonymity to protect private conversations" and who is also an "official" of some sort. Politico inexplicably fails to note Newton is exactly the same kind of cretin that his critics are. The only explanation for the criticism is that the critics are jealous Sheldon Adelson hasn't shared his wealth with them.

2012-01-26T08:26:00.000-08:00

John King to Newton: DO Piss On My Leg And Tell Me That It's Raining

TRENDING: Gingrich campaign admits error

(CNN) - Newt Gingrich's campaign admitted Wednesday night the former House speaker was inaccurate when he claimed his team offered several witnesses to ABC News to refute statements made by Gingrich's second wife in a controversial interview aired last week.

...

In an interview on Tuesday, King pressed Gingrich on those claims, saying ABC News insisted no such witnesses were put forward.

Gingrich said ABC's defense was "just plain baloney."

"If they're saying that, then they're not being honest," Gingrich said. "We had several people prepared to be very clear and very aggressive in their dispute about that, and (ABC News) wasn't interested."

King was lied to, first at the debate and again days later. There was no error. There was no inaccuracy. Newton deliberately and repeatedly lied to King and then rubbed King's nose in it. And King and his employer choose to endorse those lies by refusing to acknowledge what they were.

Congratulations, John. You have no credibility as a journalist, but there's a bright future for you as the managing editor of PolitiFact.

2012-01-24T14:52:00.000-08:00

Romney, Santorum and Paul to Debate Empty High Chair

2012-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

The Return of Toerag and Joey Digs

This is scary. Victoria Toerag, wife of diminutive Republican fixer "Joey Digs" DiGenova and Clinton-era cable blowhard, has come to the same conclusion as this blog concerning Newt's lies at the CNN debate:

This distorted vision of the world also applies to whether Newt is allowed to ignore the facts. He does so with such conviction that, unless one knows the truth, his delivery mandates believability. Newt takes on a foe with such ferocity that Republicans, hungry for a fighting candidate, have not sought to challenge the veracity of his words. Consider his debate exchange with CNN moderator John King, who opened with a question about Marianne’s revelation.

In claiming as false Marianne’s statement that he asked for an open marriage, Newt asserted,” Every personal friend I have who knew us in that time period said the story was false.”

How could that be? Marianne has said the discussion occurred during a private conversation when they were in counseling. How would any friend know what Newt said only to his then wife?

...

Newt next claimed to CNN that “we offered several of [these friends] to ABC to prove [Marianne’s statement] was false. They weren’t interested because they would like to attack any Republican.” Only it was Newt’s statement that was false. ABC immediately refuted his assertion. ABC Senior News Vice President Jeffrey Schneider stated: “That’s just not true. His daughters were interviewed for our Nightline story last night and we sought interviews with Gingrich or surrogates very aggressively starting Tuesday morning. We would have been happy to interview anyone they put forward.”

In fact, according to ABC, the campaign said it was “going to provide somebody who would answer point by point everything” Marianne said, but “it had not done so as of” the morning of the broadcast. Has any reporter asked the campaign for the names of the people Newt claimed ABC refused to air?

Great minds plagiarize great bloggers. (Note to litigious Republican blowhards: This statement is meant as comedy.)

Toensing is right, though, the SCEMESSEM is spineless when it comes to Newt and his lies.

2012-01-23T14:35:00.000-08:00

Forced Pregnancy Is A Pillar of The Libertarian Movement

If you want to know what kind of libertarian/Constitutionalist Li'l Rand Paul is, he was on his way to speak at a "Right to Life March" when he was subjected to an airport screening.

(Per the Daily Choler; no link.)

2012-01-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

Urine The Monied Class

In Brooklyn, at another church housing OWS protesters, an occupier urinated on a cross, according to Rabbi Chaim Gruber, who has angrily abandoned the OWS movement.

In a letter last week to OWS obtained by The Post, the rabbi fumed, “The Park Slope church housing occupiers was desecrated when an occupier peed inside the building and the pee came into contact with a cross.”

Jee Whiz!

The rabbi also cancelled his subscription to HBO after viewing a 2011 episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBOGo.

Actually, it seems the rabbi didn't abandon the Occupy Movement so much as he bored it to death.

Meanwhile, in Manhattan,

When the Rev. Bob Brashear prepared for Sunday services at West Park Presbyterian Church on West 86th Street, he noticed parts of the bronze baptismal font were gone.

In a fire-and-brimstone message to occupiers later that day, he thundered, "It was like pissing on the 99 percent."

That piss seems to be metaphorical.

The artifact vanished just three weeks after a $2,400 Apple MacBook vanished from Brashear's office. He told the occupiers that even when the 100-year-old Upper West Side church extended help to addicts during the 1980s drug scourge, no visitors touched its $12,500 sacramental instrument.

"Not even crackheads messed with that," he said.

An he began to teach them, saying: Blessed are the crackheads, for they know how to aim.

2012-01-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

They Should've Put Him In One of Those Gray Bins and Tossed Him Onto The Conveyer Belt

(CNN) – Authorities blocked U.S. Sen. Rand Paul at the Nashville airport Monday after the Kentucky Republican refused a pat-down at a security checkpoint, his spokeswoman said.

Paul went through a scanner at the airport and set off an alarm, said his spokeswoman, Moira Bagley. He wanted to go through the body scan again instead of getting a pat-down, but officers of the Transportation Security Administration refused, Bagley said.

As he was led away in a straightjacket, Rand screeched, "If I had any junk, I would tell you not to touch it."

2012-01-22T13:36:00.000-08:00

But Newtie Isn't One Of Those/I've Known Him All These Years

As a follow-up to the last post, ABC's Brian Ross said on the Howie Kurtz Reliable Putz Hour this morning that the only two character witnesses Newt offered to ABC News were Newton's two daughters from his first marriage.

Because ABC failed to do its journalistic due diligence, we'll never know how Netwon's daughters could affirm that Newton didn't offer to share himself with the evil-stepmom and the evil-stepmistress.

2012-01-20T08:33:00.000-08:00

The Burden of Proof

This part of Newton Leroy's happy horseshit from yesterday's debate is particularly interesting:

Let me be quite clear. The story is false. Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period says the story was false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was false. They weren't interested, because they would like to attack any Republican. They're attacking the governor, they're attacking me. I'm sure they'll probably get around to Senator Santorum and Congressman Paul. I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama by attacking Republicans.

The story, of course, is that Newton asked his then-wife, Marianne, for permission to fuck Calista while remaining married to Marianne, and Marianne said "no." Newton says that every friend who knew him and Marianne knew the story was false. That is, every friend of Newton's who knew the couple knew that Newton was banging Calista, and also knew that he didn't ask Marianne for permission to bang. Because if a friend didn't know Newton was banging Calista, how could he or she know whether Newton asked Marianne for permission to bang Calista? And how could such friends say the story was false if they didn't even know the predicate fact?

In the interest of complete fairness to Newton, ABC News should disclose the names of the several Newton friends who Newton offered up as character witnesses. Then the media can ask those friends how they know Newton never asked his wife for permission to bang. It's what Newton claims he wants, and he's entitled to no less. Because surely Newton didn't proffer his character witnesses to get ABC to kill the interview. Since those individuals would have no personal knowledge of what Newt asked his wife in private, they couldn't offer any actual "proof" to disprove what Marianne is saying.

(Of course, I don't care about Newton's peabrained urges, nor do I care what his ex-wife thinks of him. I'm more interested in the fact that Newton can blow smoke up people's asses and the SCLM just plays along.)

2012-01-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

Master Debater

So how much did Newton Leroy pay John King for that hummer he recieved last night?

Whatever it was, it was not enough.

2012-01-19T08:09:00.000-08:00

Follow-Up Call

Rick, it's God.

Yes, God?

You know when I called and told you to run for President?

Yes, God.

It turns out that wasn't me.

Oh?

No, it was the pain killers.

Oh?

There's this thing called "side effects."

Side what?

When you fill a prescription, do you read the sheet that they give you with the pills?

Read what?

You're still on the painkillers, aren't you?

Yes, God.

Well, then, I'm afraid I can't help you.

No?

Just drop out of the race now.

But....

Trust me.

Uh....

Gotta go, Rick Santorum's on the other line. You'll get a kick out of this one. Just wait.

2012-01-17T10:44:00.000-08:00

The Hate Debate

If Ron Paul had wanted to win last night's FOX News debate, he would have just read from his newsletters.

P.S. to Wan Julliams: How's the FOX News gig workin' out for you?

2012-01-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

Like A Mighty Stream Running Past A Koch Brothers Refinery

Remember people, the acceptable parameters of debate are:

Martin Luther King, Jnr.: Adulterous Plagiarizing Communist or Christian Conservative Meritocrat?

Please confine your discussion to excerpts from the sixty second clip of the Lincoln Memorial speech, and the traitor's FBI file.

2012-01-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Grand Old Police Blotter: Drink Two For The Kipper

The first G.O.P. arrest of 2012 involves Georgia drug warrior Kip "I Have A Wanker's Nickname" Smith:

Atlanta police Officer Z.A. Kramer, who was following the lawmaker’s 1998 gold four-door Jaguar XJ8, said the traffic light had just turned red when Smith went through the intersection at Pharr Road.

Kramer said he informed Smith, who was traveling alone, why he was stopped, and the lawmaker told him he didn’t realize the light was red.

“I observed the odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from Mr. Smith’s breath,” Kramer said in his report. “He advised me he was a state representative and gave the name ‘Kip Smith.'”

Smith, whose given name is John Andrew Smith, first told the officer he had not consumed any alcoholic beverages.

“I asked him again, and he stated he had consumed a single beer at Hal’s. I noticed also that Mr. Smith’s eyes were watery, and I asked him to exit the vehicle, which he did,” Kramer said in the report.

Smith told the officer he’d had the beer 45 minutes earlier, and the officer asked him to blow into a hand-held “intoximeter”. The officer said the lawmaker refused, stating he would prefer to go to a clinic or the hospital to get tested.

The officer told Smith that was done only after an arrest, and that Smith had not been placed under arrest, but Smith “seemed to be having a difficult time understanding what I was trying to explain to him,” the officer said in the report.

The officer said Smith finally agreed to blow into the device. The report stated that Smith blew a .091., which is above the legal limit of .08.

...

He was given two more breath tests, and Smith blew a .099 and then a .100, “well over the legal limit,” the report said.

The Republican souse is the co-sponsor of a bill requiring that welfare recipients be tested for the use of drugs which don't cause users to blow through intersections while operating deadly machinery.

My only question: Why no obstruction of justice charge?

2012-01-15T02:06:00.000-08:00

One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

"What are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to Manila to assist in the removal of foreskins of Fillipino boys."

2011-12-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

With A Whimper

My New Year's Resolution is to blog more in 2012.

And to complete the King William's College Quiz.

2011-12-24T14:37:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays from the staff of Roger Ailes

2011-12-24T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'll Take Things Other Than The Constitution Ron Paul Hasn't Read For Two Thousand

Fictitious whitey tape? Much wingnut wetting of pants.

Actual whitey pape... er? Republicans make him the frontrunner.

I'd love to know what portion of Herb Cain supporters are now backing Ron Paul.

2011-12-20T07:19:00.000-08:00

Fantasy Political Football

Ostensible Democrats Pat "Crazy Eyes" Caddell and Doug "Stupid Motherfucker" Schoen are back with their insipid ~~Vilify Obama~~ Draft Hillary campaign. Here's the centerpiece of their argument:

As political realists, we know that every recent presidential candidate who has emerged — from Obama in 2008 to Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and now Newt Gingrich — has been citizen-driven. The elites have not driven the process; ordinary voters have filled the void.

Such a void exists now.

Yes, Crazy and Mofo base their argument for a Hillary campaign on the examples of three stunning electoral failures[1], one soon-to-be stunning electoral failure, and the candidacy of the candidate they believe is ruining America.

They don't argue that any of the four citizen-driven Republicans would be good Presidents, and they argue that citizen-driven Obama is a bad President. They don't argue that Hillary would win, or is even interested in running. No, the purpose of their exercise is to "send a message the Democratic Party must stand for something more than Obama's reelection at all costs." But they don't suggest what that "something more" is, beyond "unification" and "a healing process" and "bi-partisanship." (Surely the results of a Clinton presidency!) Apparently what the Democratic Party must stand for is the election of a Republican president.

[1] Yes, I realize there hasn't been an election yet. Why postpone the inevitable?

2011-12-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

Chunky Reese Witherspoon II: Episcopalian Bugaloo

Those chubby drunks can't keep away from Ross Douthat:

But my strongest memory comes from a Washington dinner party two years ago, when he cornered me in the pantry and insisted on having a long argument about the Gospel narratives.

Vicars and Tarts, indeed.

2011-12-19T08:15:00.000-08:00

Caucus? You Barely Know Us!

Getting your ass kicked by Ron Paul in Iowa. That's gotta hurt.

Iowa Republicans, may I suggest you just write in John McCain's name.

2011-12-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

The Hitch Is Back

Ashes to ashes. Smoking will do that you.

Christopher Hitchens has died. He is not survived by thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis killed by America's occupation of Iraq.

2011-12-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

The Bill Bennett Primary

To be fair to Mitt Romney, it's not so much a prohibition as it is friendly advice from the Angel Moroni, who lost millions betting on the Utah Jazz.

2011-12-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

Allahu Snackbar

My favorite type of media bias blogpost is the one where a wingnut demonstrates that the media isn't covering a story by linking to a media outlet covering the story. Today's example -- no link -- comes from the developmentally unable Jim Hoft, who ejaculates: "not one media outlet reported that the man was screaming 'Allahu Akbar' as he shot at innocent Hollywood drivers."

For those who care, Hoft links to a KTLA broadcast report in which one person claimed that the gunman -- a man named Tyler Brehm, a young man who reportedly abused prescription drugs and was distraught over the end of a relationship -- had shouted "Allhu Akbar" during his shooting spree.

Apparently, KTLA is not a media outlet, and those who pay to advertise on it should demand their money back. (Those who believe they have viewed it are just mentally ill.)

But pointing out that Jim Hoft is a dolt is like predicting the occurrence of yesterday. So let's cover some real terrorist news:

GAUTIER -- Gautier police said today that a home invasion last night appears to have been the first strike by a vigilante-style group of teens lead by a 32-year-old in Gautier.

Police confiscated an operations manual for the para-military group that calls itself Tactical Search Unit (TSU) of The Savior Unit and states that its purpose is to “promote Christ, obtain offenders who are a danger to society, do community service work for churches and halfway houses, and do security for different functions.”

The leader of the group, Michael Shaun Schaffran, 32, the “commander” and Cody Jacob Rogers, 18, who police say is the “captain” of the group were arrested within minutes of a home invasion at about 7:45 p.m. Tuesday. They were each charged with three counts of kidnapping and burglar [sic] of an occupied house.

Police said the two, clothed in black and military camouflage with ski masks over their faces, went to a home on Dailey Road in north Gautier, burst in and dragged the three people who live there out of the house. One was a 70-year-old man.

God IS Great.

P.S. Here's the defense case, which amounts to: They were walking past the woods and heard a woman scream, and went to help. Plus they were dressed in black because they were on their way home from their job as mimes.

2011-12-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

From the subliterate Mediaite website:

During a recent holiday season, [Marine] Master Sgt. Robert Allen was stationed in Iraq, far away from his wife back home. So, he wrote a song about how much he missed her and sent it to her on Christmas Eve. According to Allen, his wife Carla “balled her eyes out when she heard it.”

Mrs. Allen, the Newt Gingrich of Marine Corps spouses.

Or, more correctly, Dan Abrams, employer of illiterate fuckheads. Mrs. Allen should take Mediaite for every penny it has.

2011-12-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

Herb Cain, Kingmaker

And so the bidding war begins. Which GOP hopeful will put up the most cash and tenderonis to ~~buy~~ purchase Herban Cain's endorsement? Newt Gingrich is the only contender who will look cleaner if Herb's funk rubs off on him, Mitt Romney's desperate enough to do it, and the rest of the field can't afford Herb's lifestyle. It really is a two man race.

2011-12-03T12:28:00.000-08:00

Kudos to Sky News Australia for being the first to use "Cain Pulls Out...."

Herb's problem was there weren't enough schwing states in the earlier primaries and, thus, he had no path to victory.

2011-12-03T12:21:00.000-08:00

Cain Does A Palin

December 3, 2011 (RNN) -- As donations and tenderonis dried up in the wake of charges of adultery, Herman Cain announced today that he has suspended his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination. A julbiant Newt Gingrich (R - K Street) responded to the news by stating, "That's more action for me."

2011-12-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

Puppy Mill Survivors Provide Needed Career Counselling

2011-12-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

Moses Whine and the Mystery of Herman Cain, this month's alternate selection of the Homeschooling Book Club. Only $9.99.

Simple Simon's now all, "sexual harassment charges are serious business, especially when they are on the books," but a month ago he was like, "I dare not compliment a woman on her hairdo in the workplace for fear I am open to suit." When you've got Alzheimer's, everything's a mystery.

2011-12-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

The Law Of The Land

The strange thing about this exchange, which no one seems to have noticed, is that it took place in Iowa:

JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.

BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that's really what government's role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn't be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people's preferences. We all have the same civil rights.

JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can't same-sex couples get married?

BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man.

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can't a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that's not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

Because that's not the law of the land.

Remember, this exchange took place in Iowa.

Perhaps Ms. Bachmann means that same-sex couples can't get married at the U.S. Embassay in Teheran.

2011-12-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

A Programming Note

TBogg is hosting a chat with James Wolcott, author of Lucking Out, on Sunday at 2 p.m. PST, 1 p.m. MST. It's nice to see the boys have settled their East Coast/West Coast feud.

Update 11/3: I seen C-SPAN2 is spending three hours "In Depth" with BoBo Brooks this Sunday. So you have you choice of two of America's greatest living writers, or BoBo Brooks.

2011-12-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

How to Succeed In Journalism By Not Really Trying

Now I didn't go to one of them fancy journalism schools, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but while you had Herb Cain's p.r. flack on the blower, there's some questions you might have wanted to ax said shyster:

Lin Wood, Cain's attorney, told the AJC on Wednesday that he thinks most of the messages were asking for money, which Cain has admitted to providing the Dunwoody woman who has repeatedly faced eviction. Cain has denied a physical relationship with White.

...

"Maintain common sense," Wood said in an interview. "Mr. Cain was extremely busy in his campaign. He didn't have time to send a lot of texts."

...

On Wednesday, Wood sent a letter to White's attorney, Edward Buckley, asking for her phone records to "test her credibility and motive" for coming forward to the media. Wood, in the letter, said he wanted to "ascertain whether the decision to grant interviews was politically motivated and to determine whether she has received or [been] promised money for participating."

Question One: Where are Herb's phone records, Woody Peckerwood? You know, the ones that support your premise that Herb didn't have time to use the phone.

Questions Two through Four: What makes you think that most of the messages were asking for money? Something your client said? And what was your client's response to those messages?

Question Five: If you want those phone records so bad, Woody, why don'tcha file a defamation lawsuit against Ms. White and pound out some discovery requests?

Questions Six and Seven: Who did Herb call after the story broke? Won't those calls will establish whether Herb's denials are politically and financially motivated?

2011-11-30T09:03:00.000-08:00

Roger's Holiday Gift Guide 2011: Video Game Edition

I don't play video games, so don't ask me. My advice is: If you want to give someone a videogame as a holiday gift, ask his or her parents what game he or she might like.

2011-11-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

9-9-9 In Action

The fact that Herman Cain spent 13 years trying to "help someone financially" and failed to do so should tell you everything you need to know about the Cain Presidency. "The economy just might turn around beginning about five years after my second term."

2011-11-29T08:11:00.001-08:00

Morning Joe has a strict policy on douchebaggery: Show, don't tell.

2011-11-26T11:26:00.000-08:00

Coming Attractions

This is the innaugural year for the Roger Ailes Gift Guide, the perfect resource for those of you with too much money and too few brains. First up, a $1,500.00 food processor.

2011-11-24T12:19:00.003-08:00

I'm thankful I will be nowhere near a shopping mall tomorrow.

2011-11-10T15:33:00.000-08:00

Shorter Oly Olafson

Herman, I'm The One That You Want

2011-11-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

Shorter David French: Every day businesses which have no obligation to do so give the price of a loaded 2012 Mercedes-Benz to an unqualified employee who falsely accuses their CEO of harassment. Why, if I said that Rich Lowry grabbed my junk, I'd be driving that swanky new Kia Sorrento off the lot in a matter of days.

2011-11-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Things are getting tough out there for Ann Coulter's Black. At least one National Review Online blogger is calling for Cain to go to work for FOX News full time:

First you blame Perry. Then you blame the media. Then you’re done talking about it. Then you hold a press conference and blame Democrats and the media. And now you’re just making stuff up. Time to exit, Mr. Cain.

Dude, those are his qualifications.

2011-11-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

Brothers From A Koched-Up Mother

Zeppo, Gaucho, Wacko and Dildo.

2011-11-08T08:17:00.000-08:00

Breaking: Must Credit Moron

A Washington Examiner exclusive:

Document produced by government showing a government employee received a lawful payment demonstrates that the employee didn't disclose the payment to the government.

Better wingnut morons, please.

2011-11-07T12:31:00.001-08:00

The Cain Scrutiny

Because Herb Cain puns are fast approaching their sell-by date.

2011-11-06T15:59:00.000-08:00

Shorter Republican Party

Over at the Cain-Gingrich "Lincoln-Douglas Stylee" debate, Newt Gingrich was waxing poetic about the glories of capitalism with an analogy about the Quarter Pounder with Cheese: "If you open up the bag, and there's no Quarter Pounder with Cheese in there, you're going to be unhappy." Herb Cain, sensing an opportunity, asked Newt, "Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?" Newt responded by playing the experience card, stating that only one of the candidates on stage had successfully committed adultery.

2011-11-04T14:20:00.000-07:00

We Are the 1 Percent

Todd Remis demands satisfaction:

In November 2003, Mr. Remis, an equity research analyst, and his fiancée, Milena Grzibovska, stepped into the H & H studio, which was then in Riverdale, met with Mr. Fried and signed a contract to have photographs and videotape taken of their wedding the next month — on Dec. 28 — for $4,100.

It was a small party, with fewer than 40 guests, at Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown. Photographs show a cheerful bride and groom surrounded by delighted relatives, including Ms. Grzibovska’s mother, Irina, and her sister Alina, who traveled from Latvia.

But a month after the wedding, when Mr. Remis returned to the studio to look over the proofs, he complained that the three-person crew had missed the last 15 minutes — the last dance and the bouquet toss. He noted in a deposition last July that the employees at H & H did not respond in a courtly fashion.

“I remember being yelled at more than I have ever been yelled at before,” Mr. Remis said.

In his lawsuit {filed in 2009], he also complained that the photographs were “unacceptable as to color, lighting, poses, positioning” and that a video, which he had expected to record the wedding’s six hours, was only two hours long.
“I need to have the wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot,” he testified. (Emphasis added.)

Despite his evident numeracy and analytical skills, Todd hasn't worked since 2008. His wife bailed in 2009. Another victim of the Bush recession.

2011-11-04T09:57:00.000-07:00

Shorter Wesley Pruden, Jnr.

Back in the day when there were serious newspapers, the papers wouldn't report a woman's allegations of sexual harassment until my Daddy's friends had killed the harasser.

2011-11-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

Pricks Or It Didn't Happen

Herb Cain and his "campaign" have turned their umbrage guns from racist lyncher Rick Perry to G.O.P. house organ PoliticHo:

A Herman Cain aide said Thursday that the Cain campaign is considering its legal options over the original Politico story, which revealed that the former head of the National Restaurant Association was accused of sexually harassing at least two women during his tenure in the 1990s.

"This is likely not over with Politico from a legal perspective," a campaign official told the Post, stopping short of explaining what exactly he meant by taking legal action against the publication.

Meanwhile, the Washington Post stopped short of explaining what exactly stopped it from asking a follow-up question when fed a line of bullshit.

2011-11-01T16:29:00.000-07:00

Shorter Dennis Prager

The women callers to my show are maladjusted head cases.

2011-10-31T08:24:00.000-07:00

Conflict of Interests at FOX

Is it any coincidence that FOX News had Wan Juilliams on the Geraldo Rivera Midnight Special to discuss the Herb Cain settlements?

For many journalists, the crystallizing moment was the revelation that Washington Post writer Juan Williams, one of Thomas' most ardent defenders, was himself an alleged harasser. The Post had printed a Williams column minimizing the gravity of the charges against Thomas without disclosing that Williams had been accused of verbally abusing female staff members over a period of at least four years. Post management also initially held back the paper's media writer, Howard Kurtz, from reporting on the angry reaction among Post staff members. It wasn't until WRC-TV, a local NBC affiliate, broke the story that the Post mentioned the controversy in its pages. And only after a protest by 116 newsroom employees did the paper concede that the charges against Williams were founded. Unlike most incidents of sexual harassment in newsrooms, the Williams case was widely reported, largely because of its intersection with the Thomas hearings and the conflict-of-interest question it raised.

I didn't see Wan's performance, so perhaps he copped to his sordid history. And maybe Howie Kurtz will cop to his ~~disgraceful~~ cowardly role in the cover-up. Hope springs eternal.

2011-10-31T08:07:00.000-07:00

69-69-69

Herman Cain delivered a forceful defense of his signature tax plan in a speech in Washington on Monday morning, but he did not address allegations of sexual harassment that have posed a new challenge to his Republican presidential candidacy.

Under the plan, all settlements of harassment claims are taxed at 69 percent. The plan is expected to raise billions from FOX News hosts alone.

2011-10-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

The Sound of Settling

Herb Cain's going to need better flacks than Mark "Cock" Block. On MSNBC's Daily Goatee, CockBlock asserted that he ~~had no "personal knowledge"~~ was not "personally aware" of Herb's sexual harassment settlements, but vowed unequivocally than Herb had never harassed anyone. Chuck E. Todd was unable to formulate the follow up question, namely, whether Herb had told him about the harassment settlements. (Or, alternatively, whether CockBlock's assurance of Herb's courtliness was based on his 24/7 observation of the Herb's lobbying gig.)

It sounds as if Herb is trying, and failing, to deny the settlements without violating a confidentiality clause in the settlements (which means all gags are off).

Maybe Herb can appear on Bill O'Reilly's program to set the record straight.

Update: TPM has the video, and I have corrected the post to quote the exact words of CockBlock's dodge. You be the judge as to whether I was too hard on Chuck E. Todd.

2011-10-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Riehl to Douthat: Squeal Like A Pig

Self-proclaimed man's man Dan Riehl takes to the epages of Politicho to top Ross Douthat:

Dan Riehl, another conservative blogger, described [Jennifer Rubbin] as an "establishment Republican" and a "neocon" and said he suspected the Post uses her as a kind of foil, to define the rightward limit of the debate as relatively close to the center.

“She’s kind of like [center-right (sic) New York Times columnist] Ross Douthat in lipstick, assuming he doesn't wear any,” Riehl said. "I guess she couldn't get a job with Romney so she stayed with The Washington Post."

Manly Dan's going down on Rick Perry's sinking ship, apparently, while Douthat writes like a Santorum supporter. No wonder the sex is so rough.

2011-10-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

The Hill:

Report: Cain, Gingrich to square off in Lincoln-Douglas-style debate.

But which one will be Mary Todd Lincoln and which one Donna Douglas?

2011-10-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

Shorter Little Debbie Jr.: "If you can't say anything nice, don't publish the truth."

Slightly longer Little Debbie Jr.: "The coverage of Scott Roeder's conviction was tendentious and unfair because the article didn't point out that other people have committed murder and didn't quote Operation Rescue's press releases."

Earlier coverage of the lickspittle here.

2011-10-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Roger's Book Club

Literature fans, rejoice. James Wolcott's true tale of New York in the 1970s, Lucking Out, comes out on pieces of paper Tuesday. I'll be picking up my copy Tuesday morning, if I can find a bookstore that's still in business.

Blue Girl has already given it high praise.

Roger's alternate selection: Morgue for Whores by Roy Edroso.

2011-10-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

RIP John McCain's BFF

The Republican Party's favorite Libyan has bitten the dust. Just three years ago, Gaddafi had friends in high places:

President Bush called Libya's Moammar Gaddafi yesterday -- apparently the first time any president has spoken to the African leader -- to voice his satisfaction that Libya had settled a long-standing dispute over terrorist attacks, including the bombing of a Pan Am jet over Scotland, the White House said.

In their conversation, Bush and Gaddafi "discussed that this agreement should help to bring a painful chapter in the history between our two countries closer to closure," White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe said in a statement.

On Oct. 31, Libya paid $1.5 billion into a fund that will pay claims for the 1988 Pan Am 103 bombing over Lockerbie, Scotland, and the 1986 bombing of a German disco. Another $300 million will go to Libyan victims of U.S. airstrikes ordered in retaliation for the disco bombings. The payment cleared the last hurdle in restoration of full normalization of diplomatic relations between the United States and Libya.

...

A senior White House official told the Reuters news agency that there was no record of any previous U.S. president speaking to Gaddafi, who seized power in a 1969 military coup. Rights groups say Gaddafi's reign has been marked by human rights abuses and restrictions on freedom of expression.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice plans to meet Tuesday with Gaddafi's son Saif al-Islam Gaddafi, who will be in Washington on a private visit, officials said. In early September, after the settlement deal, Rice became the most senior U.S. official to visit Libya in more than a half century.

Pallin' around with Republicans: IOKIYAT.

2011-10-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

Memo to Herb Cain

Waffling on the electrocution of Mexicans is no way to secure Mickey Kaus' endorsement.

2011-10-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Grand Old Police Blotter: Police Blotto Edition

Down in Instacracker country, one of Glenn Reynolds' role models finds himself at odds with his former employer:

Nashville, Tn - Local state representative Curry Todd has been arrested in Nashville. He is charged with DUI and possession of a handgun while under the influence.

Police picked him up around 11:15 Tuesday night.

Todd is a Republican from Collierville.

According to court documents, Rep. Todd was stopped in his GMC Envoy and police say they detected a strong odor of alcohol coming from the vehicle.

He allegedly failed a roadside sobriety test and refused to take a Breathalyzer test. A loaded .38-caliber gun was found in a holster stuffed between the driver seat and the center console.

A police affidavit said Todd was unsteady on his feet, "almost falling down at times." It concluded that Todd was "obviously very impaired and not in any condition to be carrying a loaded handgun."

The name of a lawyer for Todd, who is a former Memphis police officer, could not immediately be located. A spokesman for the House Republican Caucus had no immediate comment on the arrest.

Todd sponsored a 2009 bill to allow people with handgun carry permits to bring their weapons into bars and restaurants that serve alcohol, provided they don't drink. The law passed despite opposition from law enforcement and district attorney groups, and easily survived a veto from former Democratic Gov. Phil Bredesen.

Cars, liquor and guns, the libertarian trifecta!

Meanwhile, the G.O.P. leadership is concerned about the real victim:

House Majority Leader Gerald McCormick, R-Chattanooga, said it's too soon to say whether Todd will be stripped of his chairmanship of the House State and Local Government Committee.

McCormick said in a press conference that he had spoken briefly with Todd to tell his colleague he was "praying for him and being supportive of him on a personal basis."

He even bought Todd a few rounds.

Update (10/18): Sot Toddy has decided that his arrest provides a good reason for him to reduce his workload, but not his government paycheck.

2011-10-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

Herb Cain in the Membrane

How could Karla Faye Tucker's wingut welfare website get such an important story wrong?

Country Singer Lee Greenwod Endorses Herman Cain

By Alex Pappas -- The Daily Caller

Herman Cain has the support of a man who is proud to be an American — and has a song to prove it.

Lee Greenwood, who is best known for his patriotic hit “God Bless the USA,” is part of a group of musicians who offered their support to Cain, a Republican candidate for president, Monday in Nashville.

...

UPDATE: While the group of country music artists blasted out a press release saying musician Lee Greenwood is endorsing Presidential candidate Herman Cain, Greenwood’s manager told TheDC that the musician hasn’t made any endorsement yet and the group mistakenly included Greenwood’s name in its list of supporters.

Update my ass. It's almost as if Alex Pappas received an e-mail from some p.r. flack and reformatted it without doing any reporting. Watch out, Mickey Kaus, Pappas is after your job!

P.S. to Pappas: Artists Raising Cain isn't limited to country music artists. It also counts Nelson and Christian comedian Jim Labriola in its ranks.

2011-10-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Old Times There Are Not Forgotten

G.O.P. frontrunner Herb Cain and Neal Boortz indulge in some nostalgia:

In their radio interview, Boortz asked Cain to define what it could possibly mean to be an “authentic black” person. Cain responded that he didn’t know, before proceeding to trace his family tree back to his ancestors’ experience as slaves in Georgia (which prompted Boortz to ask whether he had any relatives who may have been slaves on the South Carolina plantation owned by members of his family).

Being owned by Neal Boortz' inbred cracker anscestors is the certificate of authenticity.

2011-10-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

The Book On Mormons

Poor Mitt Romney. He's only now learning that Republicans have no more use for Xenu than they do for Allah. You've got to learn your place, Mitt.

2011-10-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

The blue screen of death comes to us all.

2011-10-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

The Fatuous and The Spurious

Why isn't there more coverage of the FBI investigation into Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker aides? There's something for everyone -- the left can dig into the facts of the case and right can claim Walker's the victim of racial profiling by MusliPanther Eric Holder's FBI. Fun for the entire

2011-10-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

Breaking! Must Credit Roger Ailes!

According to ABC's Jake Tapper, Sharia Palin just tweeted to Mark Leh-VIN, that she will not be seeking the G.O.P. nomination for President. Of course, communicating with hairless troll doll Mark Leh-VIN disqualifies anyone from holding any public office. Palin wrote that the office of the President was too confiney, restricty and wedgie for her ultimate aspiration, which is not to be the biggest laughingstock in recorded history.

Update: Full drivel here.

Update (3:35 p.m.): Apparently, Conservatives4Palin didn't get the inside scoop on Palin's latest failure. RedStain and Gwen Stacy McCain are also asleep at the switch.

Update (3:43 p.m.): Greta Van Sustern will now return full-time to her search for Natalie Holloway.

Update (3:56 p.m.): ~~Sucker~~ SarahPAC is still open for business, because grift never sleeps.

2011-10-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Will Chris Christie Throw His Fat Into the Ring?

All America is waiting with bated breath to see if Governor Krispykreme will join the parade of ~~horribles~~ hopefuls seeking the G.O.P. nomination. Does Krispy think his record of accomplishment -- begin an obnoxious loudmouth with a Type 2 personality -- qualifies him to be President? Of course he does. Will he run? Who knows.

2011-10-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

Howie the Hack

Fresh off yet another fluffer of the other Roger Ailes, Howie Kurtz slanders Nancy Pelosi by printing fabricated quotes. Upon retraction, a Daily Beast mouthpiece lays the blame at Howie's clown shoes:

The article, Behind Obama's Populist Makeover, included a comment erroneously attributed to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, criticizing the administration's political messaging. The writer misread notes of an interview conducted by a colleague. The error has been corrected, and we’ve apologized to Nancy Pelosi's office.

What are the odds of Howie misreading something that aligns with his hatred of Dems? Even money. What are the chances that Howie will suffer consequences for his incompetence? Slim and none. If Kurtz becomes any more of an embarassment, the Daily Caller will offer him a big signing bonus to do a double act with Mickey Kaus.

2011-10-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

Education: It's Only A Game

Three-time Super Bowl loser Fran Tarkington has someone sign his name to an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal wondering what would happen if the National Football League was run like public education.

Well, you'd probably have washed-up school teachers writing uninformed, and untruthful, articles for the Wall Street Journal about how the NFL works. The NFL would have at least one team for every 20,000 residents in the country, and every team would have to give the same coaching time and the same playing time to each player within the geographic area. Revenue wouldn't be shared among the teams, so that players from francishes within wealthy districts would have an immense competitive advantage over those from poor districts. With so many teams, the players would make far less, would play until they reached 67, and wouldn't be drug tested, except maybe in Florida. &c.

And if all these changes caused the NFL to disappear, it wouldn't make one bit of difference.

The purpose of public education is to give every child the benefits of an education, and the opportunities that go with such an education. Its purpose isn't to provide entertainment to drunk and promote the sale of boner pills and junk food. Not every teacher can become third-banana to John Davidson and Cathy Lee Crosby, but they can provide something of value to the nation.

2011-10-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

Name That Pronoun

From Politicho:

It's between Christie and his wife

2011-09-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Roger's Headline News

Former comedian Dennis Miller endorsed Cain for president yesterday, but withdrew his support when he found out the pol's first name wasn't Co.

2011-09-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

A Very Important Story

At 8:03 pm Lady Gaga entered... delicately walking on sky-high heels (she towered over everyone, a good 2 feet taller than POTUS). She was wearing a floor-length sleeveless lacey black dress, her blonde hair was gathered in a bouffant up-do adorned with a black hair piece with a black veil down the back, which she swept to the side and in front of her left shoulder. (The hair added about 6 inches to her stature). She took a seat at the middle table in the tent and stood up with the other guests when POTUS entered a few minutes later.

What the fuck? According to Google, Obama is 6'1" and Lady Gaga is 5'1". The pool report above suggests she was wearing heels from 2 and 1/2 to 3 feet tall, that is, heels almost half as tall (or more) as she is. And walking and standing in them. I doubt this is even possible, outside of Dick Morris' porn collection.

2011-09-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

Roger's Poetry Corner

Bill Irvingsson tries luring Governor Krispycreme into the Presidential race by calling him the fat anti-Christ:

There's some truth to that. But I can't help wondering if, in the same poem, Yeats didn't suggest the remedy:
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
Sounds like Chris Christie.

Interestingly, Bill's shortlist of Satanic Majesties also includes Mitch Daniels, Paul Ryan and "Jeb" Bush, but not his own creation, Sarah Palin. The wet dream is over.

2011-09-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

Fuck You For Your Service

The Grand Old Party spits on our troops.

An audience at the Republican presidential debate in Orlando did not greet a gay soldier with open arms Thursday. In fact, they booed him.

The jeering came after Stephen Hill, a soldier stationed in Iraq, asked via video about the recent repeal of the 1993 law that banned gay military personnel from serving openly in the military.

Hill, in a gray "Army" T-shirt, told the candidates at the Fox News-Google debate that he had to "lie about who I was because I'm a gay soldier. I didn't want to lose my job."

"My question is, under one of your presidencies, do you intend to circumvent the progress that's been made for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?" he asked.

After his video ended, loud boos were immediately heard from a number of people in the audience. The heckling elicited no reaction from the presidential hopefuls.

The crowd reaction is not surprising. And neither is the fact that "hopefuls" are all unfit to lead.

2011-09-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

Slate has really gone downhill since they fired Mickey Kaus:

Correction, Sept. 16, 2011: This story originally misidentified the title of the Sir-Mix-a-Lot song that Sarah Palin sang along with. It is "Baby Got Back," not "I Like Big Butts."

On the other hand, since they hired Mickey Kaus, the Daily Caller can't go any farther downhill.

2011-09-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

Men We Love

I suppose I have to update my blogroll for the first time in five years. I hope I can remember how.

(Feel free to suggest other links, if anyone is still blogging any more.)

2011-09-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Lurch: Teabaggers are Wicked Idiots

That's stupid and evil, for all those who couldn't understand the argument that Bush was both.

2011-09-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

9/11 Got Me Laid

Meeegan McArdle spells 9/II with two Is:

I am one of, I think, a relative few--the perhaps tens of thousands who can plausibly claim that 9/11 utterly changed their life. Without 9/11, I would not have worked at the World Trade Center; I would not have started blogging; I would not now be a journalist. I would not have had the relationships I had, or live in the city I now call home. I would be in all visible ways a completely different person if those towers had not come down. But in the story of 9/11, I am not even a bit player. I'm maybe an extra.

All visible ways? Did 9/11 cause Meeegan to have a growth spurt?

It's mighty white of Meeegan to allow that the spouses, siblings and parents and children of those killed on September 11, 2001 might also have had their lives changed "utterly" by 9/11, even if they don't go around claiming it.

But when you get to Meeegan's level of involvement in the aftermath of 9/11 -- "work[ing] in a trailer across the street [from the former World Trade Center], doing everything from handing out security passes, to database design, to typing letters" two months after 9/11, according to her -- then there are surely hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people, who can claim their lives were changed by 9/11. Given the fact that 9/11 led to the U.S. invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan, there were tens of thousands of people whose lives were utterly ended because of 9/11, perhaps a bigger change than that which might be wrought by using your employer's computer to link to WorldNetDaily articles while sittng across the way from where others did the actual, life-changing work of recovery and demolition.

One wonders how Meeegan will commemorate the 10th anniversary of 11/23, when she promised to post on "fascinating topics such as how much weight everyone's gained since 9-11."

(Quotes from Live From The WTC blog; you could look it up.)

2011-09-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

As I looked out of my hotel room at the Solyndra plant Friday evening, I thought to myself, "Surely they must have found that $9 billion that went missing in Iraq, and those who now possess it."

2011-09-08T17:54:00.000-07:00

If it weren't for gun control, Rick Perry never would have gotten away with molesting Ron Paul.

2011-09-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Shorter Oly Olafson: Sarah Palin is great; it's her fans who suck.

Poor Erick Erickson. Apparently some Palinbaggers have dissed the other doughy pantload, and he's sick of being picked on. Don't they know he's the kingmaker? But he lacks the fortitude to admit Palin is a moron and that he is a moron for supporting her, so he's left with passive-agressive bashing of Palin's minions. Palin is a genius, but her fans are right arseholes.

2011-09-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

He So Crazy

Matt Yglesias, Sept. 2011:

After all, sitting here in the United States where nobody would ever do something crazy like respond to 9/11 by invading Iraq it's extremely difficult to understand how the mass public might come to be in possession of bad information.

Matt Yglesias, August 2010, explaining his "thinking" in 2002:

The formal case for war that I found compelling was Kenneth Pollack's "The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq."

So that's how!

2011-08-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Teabagging Is The Religion of Peace

Oregon's own Andreas Brevik speaks:

"You look like Obama. You are a Muslim like him," a court document quotes Crawford as telling an officer after he was arrested on Dec. 14 for a charge unrelated to the firebombing. "Jihad goes both ways. Christians can jihad too."

Authorities would be wise to check his computer's bookmarks for links to Atlas Shrugged and the usual warbloggers.

2011-08-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm Not A Plumber. I'm Nothing You've Heard.

The G.O.P. is not so much determined to repeat past mistakes as it is to multiply them exponentially. They're intent on repeating the Delaware Miracle by tapping television superstar "Joe" "The Plumber" "Wurzelbacher" to run for Congress:

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, the Ohio resident who rose to prominence during the 2008 presidential cycle as "Joe the Plumber" and later served as a war correspondent, is now considering a run for Congress - and national Republicans appear to be on board.

Wurzelbacher would challenge longtime Democratic Rep. Marcy Kaptur, who represents Ohio's 9th congressional district, an area that includes Toledo. Jon Stainbrook, chairman of the Lucas County Republican Party, told the Toledo Blade that there exists a "high-level interest in the national Republican Party" in a Wurzelbacher candidacy, adding: "We are encouraging Joe to run."

Run, Joe, Run!

Asked about a possible run, he told the Blade: "I think it's a very interesting idea. That's as much as I can say."

We know, Joe.

2011-08-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

I Know I Am, But What Am I?

Timmy Carney of the Washington Rectal is so eager to portray the Obama Administration as racist that he inadvertently admits the obvious: That Confederacy apologists and birthers are racist:

And this theme of baseless insinuations of racism is emanating from Team Obama and the White House. Obama's press secretary Jay Carney referred to unnamed opponents "who wanted to secede from the union." The words "secede from the union" clearly invoke the Southern states' effort to preserve slavery in 1861.

Politifact has rated Carney's statement as "False," pointing out that Perry once jokingly referred to a supposed right of Texas to secede. He's repeatedly denied actually believing this. That didn't stop Carney. Facts rarely interfere with the Left's effort to tar conservatives as racist.

Robert Gibbs, Carney's predecessor and now an Obama campaign adviser, on TV last Tuesday joked that "Any day now, Rick Perry will ask to see the president's birth certificate

I could find no record of Perry ever insinuating that Obama wasn't born in the United States. Gibbs was trying to lump Perry in with a racially tinged line of attack on Obama that suggested he was really born in Kenya. By calling Perry a borderline birther, Gibbs was essentially calling Perry a racist."

Poor dumb fuck doesn't realize that he's supposed to say that Confederacy-humping is about heritage and the heroism of ancestors, and that questions remain! about the birth certificate. He's not supposed to admit that secessionists (which Perry is, despite Politifucked's protestations)and Teabirthers are in fact racist.

Timmy's going get a brutal beating at the next CPAC for disclosing the wingnuts' true nature.