Orrin X

What did Senator Hatch know, and when did he know it?

According to the report, Lundell said Miranda told him that it was common knowledge that staff could access each other's files. "Furthermore, Mr. Lundell recalled that Mr. Miranda had told him that Sen. Hatch wanted the staff to use any means necessary to support President Bush's nominees," the sergeant-at-arms reported.

Roger Goes Postal

Roger Ailes, the blog, takes a bold step forward into the 5th century B.C. with the announcement that it will establish a postal mailing address beginning next week.

Several times in the last year (approximately four), readers have kindly offered to send a review copy of recently-published or soon to be published book on various subjects of interest in history, politics and public affairs. I've kindly declined these offers, with regret, because I didn't have a mailing address and wasn't comfortable giving my out my home address. Anyway, I've arranged to get an address where I can receive mail related to this blog.

I'm not asking anyone to send me anything because, if there's one thing we can all agree upon, I'm not worth it. But I'm always willing to comment on and promote the work of people who deserve wider publicity -- and that's not you, John Podhoretz -- whether they be authors, artists, owners of luxury resorts, or friendless eccentric millionaires.

If you want to contact me by post, just e-mail me and, if you seem harmless, I'll send you the address.

Meet Your Liberal Media

Here's a heartwarming "as-told-to" story from yesterday's New York Times about a young girl and her Cadillac Escalade EXT. Stick a gay wedding announcement or two between the articles on the waiting lists of Ferrari mechanics and $1,200 handbags and you're practically Karl Marx.

Load

For those not inclined to read the link, here's the money shot, -- the (mother's) milky load as it were -- on Mannygate:

Although Miranda denied to investigators that he solicited Lundell for poached documents while he worked for Frist, the report includes March 2003 e-mails in which Miranda asked Lundell to "undertake a discreet mission" to send copies of the Democrats' files to the Committee for Justice so the conservative activist group could "build relationships with the press."

"Of course I would be happy to assist in this covert action," Lundell replied. "The question is: exactly how much should I provide? You know we have loads on[sic] information."

It's always the coverup.

Now that we've convicted Martha Stewart, let's get the Justice Department to work on some more serious crimes:

If the Committee were to refer this report to the Justice Department, prosecution might be considered under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.

The provision of this law most likely to apply in this case is 18 U.S.C. section 1030(a)(2)(B). It provides:

(a) Whoever -

(2) intentionally accesses a computer without authorization or exceeds authorized access, and thereby obtains -

(B) information from any department or agency of the United States;
shall be punished under subsection (c) of this section.

For purposes of 18 U.S.C. section 1030:

- the term "exceeds unauthorized access" means to access a computer with authorization and to use such access to obtain or alter information in the computer that the accesser is not entitled so to obtain or alter; 18 U.S.C. section 1030(e)(6).

- the term "department of the United States" means the legislative, or judicial branch of the Government, or one of the executive departments enumerated in section 101 of title 5; 18 U.S.C. section 1030(e)(7).

When Congress amended 18 U.S.C. section 1030 in 1996 by adding section (a)(2)(B), it meant to address a gap in the law's coverage. The legislative history states:

The second gap is the significant limitation on the privacy protection given to information held on Federal Government computers. Specifically, the prohibition only applies to outsiders who gain unauthorized access to Federal Government computers, and not to Government employees who abuse their computer access privileges to obtain Government information that may be sensitive and confidential. Senate Report 104-357, 104th Cong., 2d Sess., August 27, 1996, p. 4.

The legislative history also indicates that section (2)(B) was meant to cover government employees who "obtain information" by merely reading it. Id.
18 U.S. C. section 1030(a)(2)(B) is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine and/or not more than one year imprisonment. A referral to the Department of Justice could be made by either contacting the United States Attorneys' office for the District of Columbia or the Criminal Division's Computer Crimes and Intellectual Property Section. A prosecution under this section could result in litigation involving the article I, section 6 of the Constitution (speech and debate), the First Amendment (freedom of the press issues), the Fourth Amendment (issues relating to the search of computer records), and the definition of "unauthorized access" under the statute. And, while a criminal investigation could commence upon referral to the Department of Justice, a Senate Resolution would be needed to introduce documents or testimony into a Grand Jury or at trial. See Senate Rule 11.

In informal briefings prior to the issuance of this report, Committee Members asked about the possibility of pursuing a false statement case against Mr. _____ for being untruthful with investigators. The relevant statute, 18 U.S.C. section 1001, provides:

(A) Except as otherwise provided in this section, whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the Government of the United States, knowingly and willfully -

(2) makes any false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or representation;
shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 5 years, or both.

The statue specifically addresses false statements in the context of legislative investigations:

(C) With respect to any matter within the jurisdiction of the legislative branch, subsection (a) shall apply only to -

(2)any investigation or review, conducted pursuant to the authority of any committee, subcommittee, commission, or office of the Congress, consistent with applicable rules of the House or Senate.

To be fair, we shouldn't let Manny "Mr. Blank" Miranda hog all the glory. Jason Lundell deserves some credit too.

To Your Health

Steve Gillard is coming home and doing better. And Jeralyn Merritt is recuperating from surgery. Sadly, Seb at Sadly, No! is in the hospital for a few weeks. We wish him the best.

These matters highlight what should be the first priority of the Kerry Administration: Universal health care for lefty bloggers.

As for rightwing bloggers ... well, let them buy their own medical savings accounts from Bush's Pioneers. Or let them eat cake.

The Noose Tightens

WASHINGTON -- The federal grand jury probing the leak of a covert CIA officer's identity has subpoenaed records of Air Force One telephone calls in the week before the officer's name was published in a column in July, according to documents obtained by Newsday.

Also sought in the wide-ranging document requests contained in three grand jury subpoenas to the Executive Office of President George W. Bush are records created in July by the White House Iraq Group, a little-known internal task force established in August 2002 to create a strategy to publicize the threat posed by Saddam Hussein.

And the subpoenas asked for a transcript of a White House spokesman's press briefing in Nigeria, a list of those attending a birthday reception for a former president, and, casting a much wider net than previously reported, records of White House contacts with more than two dozen journalists and news media outlets.

Some enterprising reporter should get a copy of the AF1 passenger lists for the first week of July 2003.

Pancreatitis is sounding like a good exit strategy... I wonder if it's contageous.

And I wonder who that former President could be.

Update: Newsday says Gerald Ford is the birthday boy.

Born Again

Charles Krauthammer went to see The Passion of The Christ and he's been born again. No, he hasn't converted. He's come out against "mak[ing] stuff up." That's not the Quackhammer we know and lo -- uh -- know. In fact, Krauthammer was objectively pro-libel when it came to Howard Dean. Now he's realized that libel is a bad thing.

The psychiatric treatment must be working. Just keep repeating, Charles, "Each day and in every way, I am becoming better and better."

The Kennedy School has published a case study on the role of blogs in the coverage of Trent Lott's praise of Strom Thurmond's segregationist past. (Note: The article is a 25-page .pdf file.)

The study properly credits the lead roles of ABC's The Note, Atrios and Joshua Marshall, gives Instacracker too much credit (and allows the 'cracker to pat himself on the back) and points out that attempted credit-grabbers like Sully were late to the story (later than this blog even!) It also quotes prats like Dave Winer, who had nothing to do with the story.

Meanwhile, Lott is still a senator.

Update: Error corrected (see comments).

Well, Then, The Lawyer Is An Ass

Failed attorney Mickey Kaus, who may be the most embarassing issue of a state Supreme Court justice since the Revolutionary War, takes a breather from his Hate-Kerrython to weigh in on Justice Blackmun, author of Roe v. Wade:

Has there been a more riveting media event than the reverential, non-stop NPR/PBS/NYT coverage of Justice Harry Blackmun, a nice, very dull man who wrote what may be the least convincing major Supreme Court decision since the Civil War? ... I know I can't get enough of this guy!

On the other hand, Kaus found Plessy v. Ferguson unassailable, Lochner v. New York quite persuasive, and Korematsu v. United States logically airtight.

It's official! Making shit up and stealing other writers' work is a-ok, as long as you're a pale conservative. The right-wing Boston Herald has hired disgraced bottom feeder Mike Barnicle to write a column, six years after he was fired by the Boston Globe for turning in a column full of George Carlin jokes as his own thoughts. Of course, Barnicle never suffered much for his lack of ethics: after being canned by the Globe, he was given a weekly column by the New York Daily News and worked for MSNBC, and was embraced by such paragons of virtue as Pumpkinhead Russert and Don Imus.

No doubt all of those Howell Raines bashers will be equally outraged by the Herald's choice, and will call for the resignation of the Herald's top editors.

Desecration

Two things that didn't change on 9/11 are the cynicism of the Bush Administration and the Republican Party.

Mindy Kleinberg said she was offended because the White House has not cooperated fully with the commission and because of the sight of remains being lifted out of Ground Zero in one of the spots.

"How heinous is that?" Kleinberg asked. "That's somebody's [loved one]."

Firefighter Tommy Fee in Rescue Squad 270 in Queens was appalled.

"It's as sick as people who stole things out of the place. The image of firefighters at Ground Zero should not be used for this stuff, for politics," Fee said.

...

The gauzy, upbeat spots, aimed at shoring up Bush's sagging approval numbers, begin airing today on national cable networks and 50 media markets in 17 states that Bush-Cheney strategists consider electoral battlegrounds.

Two ads, including a Spanish version, show fleeting images of the World Trade Center devastation. The 30-second spots include a poignant image of an American flag fluttering defiantly amid the WTC wreckage.

One, titled "Safer, Stronger," also features a one-second shot of firefighters removing the flag-draped remains of a victim from the twisted debris.

...

Bush officials defended the imagery as totally appropriate.

A flag-draped coffin returning from Iraq would be even more appropriate.

The Goldberg Repetitions

In 2001, Jonah Goldberg wrote this at National Review Online:

Marie-Antoinette didn't actually say "Let them eat cake!" In fact, she actually worked pretty hard to feed the poor. The legend comes from Rousseau's Confessions, where he wrote that a "Great princess" had declared "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" while the people were starving. Unfortunately "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" doesn't mean "Let them eat cake!" either. It means, more or less, "Let them eat [expensive] buns." And, it should be pointed out, Confessions was written in 1768, two years before Marie-Antoinette moved to France. Assuming Rousseau didn't just make it up, he was probably referring to Queen Marie-Therese.

Fascinating.

And just this week, the Bat's boy wrote another version of the same lame anecdote:

Let's start from the top. First, "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" doesn't mean, "Let them eat cake." It means, "Let them eat some fancy egg-based bread" -- i.e. a brioche. Second, Marie Antoinette never said it. The story comes from Rousseau's "Confessions" and, according to historians, he couldn't have been talking about Marie Antoinette, because she was only 10 years old when the book was written and still living in Austria. Some believe that perhaps Marie Therese, another queen, had said, "Let them eat brioche," 100 years before the French Revolution. Other historians think Rousseau just made it all up. Whatever.

And most of the 2004 column is just a rewrite of 2001's lame effort. It's not quite a case of self-plagiarism, since Jonah worked up enough energy to rewrite the same thing in a slightly different way. (Although I wonder if he wrote the same thing for a college term paper, his high school paper, etc.) But it shows how little effort Jonah puts into his little hobby.

And don't get me started on how Jonah's explanation of the story doesn't even make sense, assuming it's true.

The Moon Isn't Shining For Dick

Looks like the Moonies want Dicky Ticker off the ticket. He's soft on homos, ya know. Here's the latest (February 24) entry from the Moonie Times "Insider" blog:

President Bush insists that Dick Cheney will be his running mate this fall, and there's no reason to doubt his word at this point. But some in the party worry that Mr. Cheney is an unneeded target on the ticket for Democrats and critics of the war in Iraq. A second Cheney vice presidential term also leaves the GOP with no heir apparent in 2008.

Why not then, they reason, put a fresh face on the ticket with Mr. Bush, someone who can inherit the White House four years from now? Under this scenario, Mr. Cheney, for health reasons, asks the president to pick another ticket-mate, and Mr. Bush reluctantly accepts. And Mr. Cheney continues as some kind of senior-level consultant to the president on anti-terrorism matters. Far-fetched? Only the summer will tell.

Ah, yes, lying about Cheney's health to get some Moon-approved wingnut on the ticket. Very Republican.

(Link not worth the effort. If you want to read the original, go to the site and sign in as "fuckmoon@hotmail.com" and "prudenbigot.")

Draft Jeralyn Merritt

I have no idea if she has any interest in the job (right now she's recovering from wrist surgery, and she's got a successful law practice), but she's a real progressive Democrat, brilliant, well-spoken, and she has a track record of thrashing right-wing blowhards in televised debates.

Jurisprudence By The Numbers

TBogg reports that Theordore "Ted" Olson, Esq. informed the U.S. Supreme Court that he performed an internet search of the phrase "free porn" on his home computer and got more than 6 million hits. "That's proof, Solicitor General Theodore Olson told the Supreme Court on Tuesday, of the need for a law protecting children from a tide of online smut."

A search of "free speech" also got more than 6 million hits, so kiss the First Amendment goodbye.

Also subject to censorship under the Olson regime:

free Jesus -- 6,170,000

free Iraq -- 6,810,000

free association -- 6,920,000

free assembly -- 7,070,000

Free Republic -- 7,140,000 (they're more popular than Jesus)

free arms -- 7,570,000

free health care -- 8,900,000

free food -- 11,700,000

free money -- 14,600,000

All of the above pose an obvious danger to the nation, and must be banned ... for the children!

Not only was Ted paid by you and me to search for porn at home, he's now got a defense if the Ashcroft Justice Department ever tries to send him to prison for cybering with Ann Coulter.

Now That's Orwellian!

Of course, this is the equivalent of the distributors of The Brown Bunny taking out "For Your Consideration" ads in Daily Variety, but, still....

The Returns From The West Coast

Based on the early returns, it looks like John Kerry has gotten at least 60 percent of Democratic primary vote in almost all of California's counties (he's under 60 in some rural counties such as Lassen, Mariposa, Modoc, Mono and Trinity).

Dennis Kucinich has gotten 10 percent of the vote in Marin County so far. (Must have been those phone calls from Danny Glover).

And the Democrat representing the Mickey Kaus wing of the party, Lyndon LaRouche, is trailing everywhere, racking up approximately 0.1 percent of the vote.

Welcome, Bloggers!

Welcome the newest additions to Roger Ailes Enemies List:

Michael Berube

Boston Review

Everything's Ruined

Press Action

salto mortale

If you have a blog, or a blog you'd like to recommend, please e-mail me at the fastmail.fm address. If you've already e-mailed me with a link, it's probably gotten lost among the numerous international lottery and virus messages that fill my inbox, so please try again.

John McCaslin, Pity Patty:

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) is going to extreme lengths to keep Education Secretary Rod Paige's description of the National Education Association --"a terrorist organization" -- on the front-burner of the 2004 presidential campaign.

Calling for Mr. Paige to resign for offering his personal opinion (as if his fellow educators in this country don't opine before our children on a daily basis), the DNC has actually printed the State Department's current list of foreign terrorist organizations, including al Qaeda, Hamas, Shining Path, the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, and now -- or so the Democrats contend in writing -- 3 million U.S. teachers.

"Actually printing" a list! That's extremism.

Right Wing Whiner of the Week

Mike Adams, professional victim:

To make matters worse, they have also said that they will not fund "conservative" speakers. I learned after my speech that the CRs were stuck with paying the bill for my hotel room. A university that has no problem paying for porn stars promoting anal sex will not pay any expenses for conservative speakers because they are simply too offensive.

To add insult to injury, the CRs were removed from a room that they had reserved for my speech only minutes before the speech began. We were all ushered into a smaller room cluttered with tables that made it difficult for the audience to listen to my speech. This was the fourth consecutive week that the CRs were bumped out of a room they had specifically reserved.

It's nice to see Mike admit his long-suffering audience isn't bright enough to follow his speech because there was furniture in the room.

But fair is fair. If the UNCG refuses to pay for Ben Shapiro's lodgings when he comes to speak on No Hump Day, I'll personally pay for him to share a single with Tristan Taormino and Mike.

The history of the human race around the world shows how hard it is to create and maintain a national unity when different segments of the society think that what they want over-rides what everyone else wants and justifies violating the very accord that makes a society possible.

Well, not really. He just wishes.

God Is Not On Our Side

James Lileks, the brain-dead scribbler with the misshapen head, reviews John Kerry's answer to the question "Is God on America's side?" Lildick concludes that Senator Kerry believes God was on the side of the "atheistic communists" during the Vietnam War. The bulbous-beaned bleat-off offers no support for his assertion, he just says it's so because Kerry refused to say God is always on America's side.

Lileks then distorts some quotes F.D.R. and J.F.K. which really don't support his point.

In rebuttal, let me cite some other distinguished authorities who disagree with the Minnesotan halfwit.

Abraham Lincoln:

During the Civil War, some Methodist clergymen called on the White House. The spokesman of the group intoned, "Mr. President, our cause will prevail because the Lord is on our side.

Gentlemen, the question we should ask ourselves is: "Are we on God's side?" (source)

Mark Twain, a writer whose bung-encrusted Union suit Lileks isn't fit to clean with his tongue:

With all eyes following and wondering, he made his silent way; without pausing, he ascended to the preacher's side and stood there, waiting. With shut lids the preacher, unconscious of his presence, continued his moving prayer, and at last finished it with the words, uttered in fervent appeal, "Bless our arms, grant us victory, O Lord our God, Father and Protector of our land and flag!"

The stranger touched his arm, motioned him to step aside -- which the startled minister did -- and took his place. During some moments he surveyed the spellbound audience with solemn eyes, in which burned an uncanny light; then in a deep voice he said:

"I come from the Throne -- bearing a message from Almighty God!" ...

[The stranger spoke:] "You have heard your servant's prayer -- the uttered part of it. I am commissioned of God to put into words the other part of it --that part which the pastor -- and also you in your hearts -- fervently prayed silently. ... Upon the listening spirit of God the Father fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!

"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with hurricanes of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

[After a pause.] "Ye have prayed it; if ye still desire it, speak! The messenger of the Most High waits."

It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said. (source)

And, of course, the God who Lileks uses to bash anyone who disagrees with him:

"[God] causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:45)

(Link via Oliver Willis)

The Roger Ailes Primary

We're back from our triumphant Academy Awards appearance -- in Tom Ford for Gucci, thanks for asking -- and ready to announce the all-important Roger Ailes primary endorsement.

No politician is perfect, but there are many reasons to vote for this contender -- his service to his country, his intelligence, his relatively progressive record and, yes, his electability. But there is one reason every eligible American should vote for John Forbes Kerry: Every vote for Senator Kerry makes this Republican suffer just a little bit more.

Join me tomorrow, and make it excruciating.