"Public schools now teach every and all sexual acts, from anal sex to S&M sex."

Instead of grammar, it seems.

Not only that, the classes are taught by Bill Clinton!

Why, when I was a kid we had to walk five miles in the snow to just to learn anal sex from a prostitute.

Maybe Joe's going easy on him because he was courteous enough to phone Joe before breaking the law.

Or maybe Joe just wants a job on FOX.

Here's an extremely well-sourced article by Bill Berkowitz at WorkingforChange.com, on the case (or lack thereof) against U.S. Army Chaplain, Captain James Yee.

Mr. Berkowitz discusses the parallels between the Yee case and the case of Wen Ho Lee. By the way, Lee's attorneys are attempting to take the deposition of Jeff Gerth, whose continued employment at the New York Times defies all reason. Gerth has refused to identify his sources, who may be employees of the FBI and/or Department of Energy.

And I never knew that Chas. Lindburgh had banged a German hatmaker and gave her three kinder. (I sure hope this doesn't lessen Armstrong Williams's opinion of Get Lucky Lindy.)

Of course, Strom and Armstrong never had any moral authority to begin with, so at least they didn't lose anything.

More Blue v. Red State Idiocy

Here's a correction published today at Slate:

The Dec. 16 "Moneybox" column reversed the states' electoral colors, stating that the blue states are areas that supported President Bush in 2000, and that the red states were terrain hostile to Republicans. In fact, it's the blue coastal states that opposed Bush, and the red states that supported him.

Once again: There are no colors for the political parties. The Democratic Party is not the "blue party" and the Republican Party is not the "red party." It doesn't make a damn bit of difference which color is assigned to which party! It's completely arbitrary! And completely meaningless! Stop it!

The Right, Before Christmas

Here's a holiday treat for all. It's a reworking of the classic poem, The Night Before Christmas (written by Major Henry Livingstone, Jr., a Canuck, and not Clement Moore), as reworked by a delusional governor's wife.

"I am late," said Santa. "My last stop took hours, all that coal I delivered down The Courant's tall towers.

"They used to be good girls and boys," Santa said. "But the poison pen's power has gone to their head.

"And I have the same problem at the media stations, they've just simply forgotten good human relations.

"Their thirst and hunger for the day's biggest story has earned them black coal for their ill-gotten glory."

"Oh Santa," I said, "that is sad, I agree. They've acted like Grinches who have stolen our tree.

"They whipped themselves into a mad feeding frenzy. They've embarrassed our children and our Mama McKenzie.

"But this is the season of joy, peace and love, and forgiveness which comes from our Lord above.

"A time for compassion to give what we can, to lift up the spirits of our dear fellow man."

"Ho, ho, ho," went Santa. "I say that's the gist. Now why don't you tell me what is there on your list."

"Dear Santa, this year bring warmth to those cold, and safety each day to the young and the old.

"Bring our soldiers home safely without any hitches, and give evildoers a kick in the britches.

"Help the lonely find love, and the lost find their faith, take the drugs off our streets so our children can play.

"Give our teenagers wisdom and courage and health. Show them family and friends are the best kind of wealth.

"And last, but not least, for the man next to me, a new year that is peaceful and refreshingly free of rumors and hearsay that do nothing but smother the positive works we should do for each other.

"This man who has given you many years of his life, who has stood tall and strong throughout good times and strife.

"He has championed our cities, our schools, and our arts. He's made sure our children are ready and smart.

"He doesn't get bullied by big union bosses who picket and whine and dwell on their losses.

"He's the man with the plan for the good of our state and he won't let press twist and turn our state's fate.

"So please, Mr. Santa, won't you grant me this plea, and tackle this list that I have drawn up for me?"

Santa stood up and gave me his hand. "That's quite a tall order, but I'll do what I can. I'll spread Christmas cheer to each city and town, to each man, woman and child, and I won't let you down."

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight/"What's with all these lunatics on the far right?"

Put away the eggnog, Patty, and start planning for those conjugal visits.

Strom Thurmond's family has reluctantly acknowledged that a 22-year-old Strom impregnated a 16-year-old African-American minor who worked for his family, and that the pregnancy resulted in the birth of a daughter. Particularly amusing is Strom, Jr.'s acknowledgement of his half-sister, no doubt made through clenched teeth: "We have no reason to believe Ms. Williams was not telling the truth."

It's interesting that Strom's estate was only valued at $200,000, a substantial amount, yet very small for someone of Strom's position and fame. I'd like to think the estate is so small because most of the bastard's money went to his unacknowledged daughter, to buy her silence. I'd also like to think that Strom resented paying every penny, though he clearly owed his daughter much than he ever could have paid.

The most repulsive aspect of the whole story? As reported at Silver Rights, the fond recollection by Armstrong Williams (no known relation) of Strom and Armstrong joking in a vulgar manner about Strom's sexual exploits with the mother of his child.

Con Job

It's nice to see some real reporting on the substance of the Telegraph/Con Coughlin claim linking Mohammed Atta to Saddam Hussein. To date, we've only seen the usual right-wing circle jerk: repeating the claim with no independent effort whatsoever to confirm it. (Yes, that's means you, Safliar and Joe Sully.) Now, someone has done some reporting on the claim.

True, the reporter is Spikey Isikoff, Lucianne G.'s well-worn marital aid, but even a right-wing whore can be right twice a day.

The premise of the article is sound: the Telegraph claim that Atta was in Bagdhad for at least three days sometime between June 21, 2001 (the beginning of summer) and July 1, 2001 (when the phony memo was allegedly written) is belied by the federal government's proof of Atta's movements in the U.S. during that period.

Earlier this week, without the resources of Newsweak magazine, I was able dig up a timeline showing that Atta was otherwise occupied during at least half that period, June 27 to July 1. The timeline also shows that investigators were able determine when Atta did leave the country in 2001 -- both before and after, but not during, 6/21 to 7/1. Kudos to Newsweak for once challenging bullshit rather than publishing it as a cover story.

And here's a quote from Con Coughlin that would bring a tear to Spikey's eye:

Contacted by Newsweek, The Sunday Telegraph's Con Coughlin acknowledged that he could not prove the authenticity of the document. He said that while he got the memo about Mohammed Atta and Baghdad from a "senior" member of the Iraqi Governing Council who insisted it was "genuine," he and his newspaper had "no way of verifying it. It's our job as journalists to air these things and see what happens," he said.

A new journalism award. Appropriately, the award recognizes not journalists who tell the truth, but rather those who "wrote what they thought was right."

This prize will be only slightly less prestigious than the Breindel Golden Needle.

A Question

If the wingnuts are so convinced of the veracity of the Telegraph's claim that Mohammed Atta trained for the September 11 attacks in Iraq with the knowledge and support of Saddam Hussein, where's their outrage at Bush's plan to turn Hussein over to the Iraqis for trial?

Bush made his comments in an interview with ABC News' Diane Sawyer, and the network released a transcript of the remarks.

Even while expressing his views, Bush said Saddam's punishment "will be decided not by the president of the United States but by the citizens of Iraq in one form or another."

He said he doesn't see a need for an American role in Saddam's trial, a process that Iraqis are "plenty capable of conducting."

That silence speaks volumes about the difference between what wingnuts say and what they truly believe.

Jeralyn Merritt at Talk Left is reporting that the Iraqi Provisional Government's trial of Saddam Hussein may be televised. I look forward to the dignified cable coverage of this important event, which will no doubt include the following:

-- Nancy Grace bragging about how she never lost a war crimes trial in her career as a prosecutor, and pronouncing Saddam guilty by virtue of the fact he grew a beard.

-- Gloria Allred signing up Saddam's second wife as a client.

-- Rita Cosby petitioning Saddam for an exclusive interview, citing the support voiced for her by Uday and Qusay, and expressing her "deep concern about this possible violation of [his] freedom of speech" and her desire to make public his "many valuable insights."

-- Larry King, for the full hour, with an All-Star Panel of experts on international law, including Sylvia Browne, Linda Tripp's attorneys and that guy from JAG.

-- And Geraldo going to the rat hole in Adwar, to see if it's the one down which he pissed his credibility.

A Whore On Hollywood Boulevard(s)

I speak of David Brooks -- the right's cheap knock-off of Faith "Popcorn" Plotkin -- who seeks to portray Howard Dean as a Hollywood liberal. Hear Brooks babble:

"Howard Dean is the only guy who goes to the Beverly Hills area for a gravitas implant. He went to the St. Regis Hotel, a mile from Rodeo Drive, to deliver a major foreign policy speech, and suddenly Dr. Angry turned into the Rev. Dull and Worthy."

Why, none but a boob would speak of international affairs and national defense so close to a high-end retail shopping district. Any man who would do such a thing is unqualified to be president, and likely insane....

If you don't know where this set up is going by now, you've been in a coma for six months and you've never read this blog before.

Yes, that's right, on June 27, 2003, George Bush held an election fundraiser at the Century Plaza Hotel, which is a brisk 30-second walk away from the St. Regis. You'll recall that Bush's warmup act on that occasion was the washed- and sobered-up beer and satellite teevee pitchman, Dennis Miller. And Bush spoke at length on Iraq and Afghanistan to the assembled throng of Hollywood rightys who paid handsomely for the privilege of Bush's company.

And you thought the Times couldn't find anyone with less insight into politics than Maureen Dowd. Maybe Lazy Davey's job is part of Times' liberal plot to only publish conservatives who couldn't craft a solid argument if their lives depended on it.

...Does Your Conscience Bother You?

To those on the right who say that the left has shown insufficient glee at the capture of Saddam Hussein, and especially those who sing the praises of Saint Ronnie, I say: My hands have always been clean; don't expect me to applaud when you get a little blood out from underneath your fingernails.

A brutal dictator who killed and tortured thousands of his country's citizens during the decades of his rule has been captured. What should be done?

Let's ask President Bush.

On second thought, let's not.

Grand Old Police Blotter: The Entire Fucking Connecticut G.O.P. Edition

"But the Republican governor [of Connecticut, , John G. Rowland] acknowledged last week that he did not pay for these improvements to his cottage. Instead, he relied on gifts -- of time and money -- from a prominent state contractor and several of his closest governmental aides. And he acknowledged that he lied when he claimed on Dec. 2 that he alone had paid for the improvements. ...

"Several prominent Rowland appointees have tripped into the political muck of late. Earlier this year, Rowland's former deputy chief of staff pleaded guilty to steering contracts in exchange for cash and gold coins, which he buried in his back yard. (That same former deputy helped pay for a water heater at Rowland's cottage).

"Another commissioner was forced to resign this year after evidence emerged that he had accepted gifts from businesses working with the state. And four years ago, the former state treasurer -- a Rowland appointee -- pleaded guilty to racketeering and money laundering.

"In fact, it has been a bad year for Connecticut politicians, as the former mayors of Bridgeport and Waterbury marched off to federal prison. In the latter case, federal prosecutors had investigated contract corruption in Waterbury when they discovered that Mayor Philip Giordano had forced two girls to perform oral sex at City Hall. This past June, a judge sentenced Giordano to 37 years in prison for the sex crimes."

The Post article quoted above fails to mention that girls Giordano abused were 8 and 10 years old.

Giordano should have plenty of friends visiting him soon, for extended periods of time.

Are We Sure It's Him?

Let's see. Yeah, it's him.

The malls will be packed today, no doubt.

On to Saudi Arabia!